|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
Ghost of YouDown on my knees for you
Begging please stop
Picking the good out of me
Heaving on the floor
I need you
But you're killing me
I look in the mirror
My reflection beckons back
Who is she?
Someone falling through the cracks,
That you have made in her broken heart
Someone begging on her knees for you to shut up
Just a girl who wants to be beautiful
Just running from the edge
Into this world unknown
Finding nobody, but the ghost of you...
TomorrowRunning through these emotions
Trapped in my mind
What are they?
The definitions lost...
I'd rather not know
It may only hurt me more
Needles in my heart
Slowly pressing down...
There is nothing in sight
You've hidden it all
All the sharp objects
Good thing for me
I cannot give in
Cause things will be better
A new day, a new way
To deal with life
To see beauty in things
Open your eyes, look really hard
Forget the scars, just for a moment
Things are getting better.
If You Only Knew...If you only knew
What I go through each day
What I feel because of you
What I hate thanks to you
Now that you're gone
That you left me
I fucking hate myself
I'm such a stupid girl
You're so stupid for leaving me
But it's too late
You're already gone
And I'm trying not to break
Anymore than I already am
You made this choice
You chose to kill me
Shattering my heart into pieces
I hate you
I love you
Just know what you did to me
You turn your head in shame
Just feel the guilt!!
If you're going to kill me
Do it all at once!
Kill me now!
What does it matter anyway...
What was there to destroy?I am a hollow being
With a beating heart
I am stuck in a hollow world
Lifeless bodies surround me
I am screaming out
Weary eyes, raw throat
I am standing behind you
Ignored every second
I am looking in the mirror
Realize I've destroyed myself
But then again, what was there to destroy...?
Why should I?I smell the coffee
But somehow reminds me
Of a terrible hospital
Coffee has nothing
To do with it
I lay in bed for
Days I'm wasting away
Like molding bread
I may be a poet
But I'm so insecure
Everything around me
Is rushing past
Like a screwed up
A dream that
I can't wake up from
I won't know the difference
Life is the same
Like a constant coma
I'm always numb
These wasted days
Who am I?
Will my presence
Make a difference
In this horrible
I look into the mirror
Reflection tainted, distorted
Who are you?
I'm a stranger
Should I care?
I'm a deprived cutter
I don't know her
But I wouldn't suspect
There is no living proof
She isn't living
I bash my hands against
Trying to make her
I don't notice that
I'm already bleeding
But then again...
Why should I?
It's Funny How You Bleed.Funny how you
Don't even realize
Until you really
Funny how the
Down your arm
Can take the
Can do it to
Can hide it
Pain is the only
Release from the urge
The urge to see
Your own blood
Weeping the hurt away
Relieving the misery
In your heart
Why are you so sick
Dying for SilenceAll I want is silence
Just some peace and quiet
It's been too hectic lately
I'm afraid I'll go insane
Relief is foreign to me
Just the memories of all the times
The times silence came so easily
The times I dreamt so easily
There is never any time
For even one minute
Not even in the dead of night
Because my mind is screaming
For just a bit of silence.
Missing KeyYou had the key to my heart
But you threw it away
Now I'm forced to search through the lost
Trying to find what I trusted you so dearly with
Hearing the whispers of all the innocent
Innocent people who had their keys thrown
Thrown into dust, it's chilling
You're so cold, I can still feel it
Like ice cubes, sliding down my spine
I cringe, knowing you're somewhere out there
Knowing how you planned this little demise
Tears roll down my cheek, aching
Aching only for my missing love
The missing key, the missing piece
Of my broken heart
MuteThinking of those last words
Maybe I should just stop talking
Stay mute, barely whisper
This pain, like blades through my heart
This regret, like pins through my soul
This anger, just trying to escape
Trying to get out, but I won't let it
I'm mute, I say nothing
Why must I speak, I already lost you
The question, it screams at me everyday
Why couldn't you stay?
I just lay here mute, unconcsious
For no one to find me
Satisfaction Not GuaranteedI'm sorry I couldn't be perfect
I'm sorry you aren't satisfied
I'm sorry this cavernous hole in my skin
Isn't enough to prove that I tried
InsomniaIn the night
I lay awake
but just to think
Think about everything
think about the past
even think about the future'
cause in the night I can't sleep
No sleep for me
nothing can happen
what will get me?
will I no longer be here?
it takes over my mind
cause In the night i cant sleep
until I black out
Don't let me sleep!
something gonna get me
don't let me fall asleep
but my body tells me to sleep
Needing the sleep
but fearing it so much
In the night
I can't sleep
Its controlling my mind
while my body needs me to sleep
but in the night
I won't sleep
Not until I black out
so I won't get nightmares
so I wont have the fear
of something getting me
UnexpectedlySays he died in his room
Can't help but wonder
Death should have been
The Quite One.She was always quite.
Never completely certain,
if she could trust herself to feel...
She was taught how to paste a smile
upon her un-perfect face.
To try her best to fit in and
walk at everyone else's pace.
To hold everything in just because society
frowns upon a fucked up face and all kind's
of silent tastes.
To persuade everyone that "I'm fine"
was the truth even when her veins popped
out when she screamed and turned to the
weirdest shade of blue's.
After a while she learned how to cry silently.
To fool everyone into thinking that her tears
where running down her soft cheeks, because of broken,
She never knew how GOOD it would of
felt like to finally breath and be...
No Use CryingCrying non stop is suffocating and overwhelming.
It doesn't bring any relief
It doesn't ease the pain...it just makes it bigger and bigger
each time you cry.
there's no use crying
it's a waste of time and energy
AttackHer breath quickens as she paces the aisles,
Goosebumps stretch her skin over bones,
She's alone here, but not at ease.
The air is thick and cool,
The walls climb,
She hears echoes from memory,
But she cannot.
Where her breath was quick and short,
It now slows, constricts,
Air does not enter her lungs.
The moment lasts forever.
It came rushing toward her
as she washed her dreams down
the kitchen sink.
She couldn't carry them with
her if she wanted to survive.
To try, and reconnect herself
with the world that regretted her,
day after day.
No matter what she would said,
they seemed to push her away.
The voices whispered that they had to pay.
They whispered all the things her locked, scared
lips refused to say.
Death overwhelmed her.
Hit her like a speeding bullet.
She welcome the voices,
that already had mindful reason to take over.
To hurt her.
That's what they all say.
She prayed for the strength to put it down,
to not drown in her tears and sorrow.
To not frown.
Before she knew it,
she couldn't find any other reason to stay.
Lingering in the frozen air is
everything her heart was aching to say.
Day after day.
Step by stepYou told me I'd be free.
Free to choose anything, whatever
I wanted to have, to do, to become.
And so I went my way. And I lived with my choices,
I tried to move on.
But I forgot to leave things behind,
some items, and the past.
Because of that,
my so-called freedom, my new life was
I was still taunted by everything,
I still moved mechanically
when holding that one object.
And I tried breaking off these chains,
but I kept getting stuck,
all I once tried to forget floats around me.
And I gave in,
once again fooled by my weak mind.
I go back to step one.
Life and DeathI'm drowning slowly
The air in my lungs are filling up
Every breath I take feels like fire, yet I can't get enough of it.
I screamed, no one heard me,
I see a land in the distance knowing its too far away to get to.
I try to think fast on what I can do to save myself, the pain is blinding me.
I die, alone, while watching the life on the island.
Secret BeneathShe keeps everything inside all day
Only to have it break her down at night
The secret that lies deep beneath her icy veins
Only tears her apart in the end
She's fragile, but strong
She doesn't know that the lies that feed her
Will only be the truth
Embedded deep in her forest of lies
Slowly crumbling with her heart
As she contemplates what's right and what's wrong
No one will know her secret
She won't let this kill her.
Keep in Touch!