[x]

Who will suicide hurt?Empty and cold inside
Is this all that's left
This narration inside my mind
These thoughts
The ability to have these thought is the only thing keeping me alive
What would it be without them
No pain to think about
Nothing to worry about
I wouldn't need to cry anymore
I'd still be empty, but atleast I wouldn't have to know it
I can't cry anyway
There are no tears left inside
It's like my sorrow is too much to express
But would others cry
What about my parents, my friends, my one true love, would they cry
My parents wouldn't shed a tear
I have to friends to shed tears for me
For me, there exists no one true love
There is no lover to shed a tear for me
I was scared I'd hurt someone, but there is no one to hurt
If there is no one to shed a tear for me, than why should I shed a tear for myself

Was It All A Lie?The funny thing is,
You can walk past me
And totally ignore me
Acting like I don't exist
Without an inch of guilt in your black heart
After all the things we have been through
After all the times we have been there for each other
And you act like it never happened

The funny thing is,
You can look in the mirror
Thinking you're the best
Thinking you are too good for everyone
After all the things I have done for you
After all the things we have put each other through
Through thick and thin
And totally forget that I was once in your life
That you needed me

That you loved me

It's like you're a totally different per

Six Feet UnderI am six feet under,
Deep underground.
No one can help me,
I don't want to be found.

I was buried this morning,
At quater past three.
My chains are now locked,
I can no longer be free.

They piled on the earth,
To bury me deep.
A change at least,
From being dumped in a heap.

One foot for the people,
Who have betrayed me.
Who then lied and pretended,
Thought I wouldn't see.

Two feet for what they've said,
The times they've made my cry.
The snide remarks and comments,
That made me want to die.

Three feet for the problems,
All of them my fault.
They'd never let me forget them,
Rubbing old wounds with salt.

Four feet for my scars,
Made in th

self hatredI don't know how you could see this body as perfect
When all I see is mistakes

I'm not sure how you looked into my eyes and said you saw angels
when all I can see is deep darkness hiding demons in the shadows

You claimed I'm was too skinny and needed to eat
I say I'm not skinny enough and refuse to touch anything

You said I should open
I say I'm under lock and key

You said you where leaving
I want you to stay

You said I was beautiful
I only see ugliness

You said you'd return
I knew you wouldn't

Your last words to me where full of hate
and finally we agreed on something

A Lover's LullabyHush my love,
Let me wipe your tears.
I know life is cruel,
So let me share your fears.

At night, I'll hold you close.
My love will smooth the scars on your heart.
Just relax into Aidin's lullaby.
In my arms, you'll never fall apart.

I know this can't be lust,
For you alone will the azalea flowers bloom.
For you alone I do love.

SnapshotI'm not sure
if these little
snippets
of memories
and thoughts
and feelings
should be called
poems
but
they come out
as words
so
I write

It Is (Depression)It is a shroud of black velvet.
It is the violent ocean in the dead of night.
It is the monster in the shadows; the Vashta Nerada.
It is the final crash of symbols in Carmina Burana.

It is impossible to lift.
it is impossible to breathe.
It is impossible to see.
It is the only thing that can be heard.

It is why the stars disappear at night.
It is why every light drifts by without stopping.
It is why the gnawing starts and never ceases.
It is why nothing else matters in the end.

It is my disease.
It is my disability.
It is my misfortune.
It is my death sentence.

There's a light at the end of the tunnel."There's a light at the end of the tunnel."
Then I will run as fast as I can.
"Hang in there, get through the tunnel!"
Believe me, I'm doing the best I can...

I run dead ahead, trying to reach the light,
But the shadows surround me, and hold on tight.
As I break free from them, it takes all my might,
As I run, it seems to just get further out of sight.

But yes, I see it! That glorious light!
As I keep running, and the light gets brighter.
I propel myself forward with the last of my might,
Too late, I realise, the light is a flamethrower...

Pain and MemoriesThe constant crying
the urge to feel pain
it won't go away....
the memories in my head...

The urge to hurt oneself
the thoughts controlling me
I can't help....
but to cry my heart out

All the pain i feel...
the constant anxiety
I can't help
but to pass out....

The urge to hurt...
the urge to feel...
I can't help
but letting my mind control me

The tears rolling down...
making my chest hurt...
The pain deep inside
I can't help but to hide...

It won't go away...
the pain deep inside
just please help me...
take the pain and memories away.....

You Broke Me...You took everything
You told me I was beautiful
Wasn't that a lie?

You took my innocence
I know you enjoyed it
I could see it
Right before my eyes

You tied my heart in knots
Now I feel so strained
Just cramped

You never wanted to hurt me
But it was your choice
You broke me anyway...

SuicideHeavy breathing
My own heart beat
Screaming in my ears
As the cold metal is pushed against my skull

The only sound in the room
Are the tiny gasp's
Escaping my lips
I look around

Few tears springing to my eyes
But I ignore them
I have to be brave
This is what I want
My escape, Ill finally be free

I glance around once more
At the last people ill ever see
Tears streaming down the silent faces
Of those who care

I whisper softly " I'm sorry"
And I pull the trigger
I don't think I ever hit the floor
I'm gone

The room was completely still
My small gasps are no longer occupying the silence
My heart no longer racing
It has come

Every InchCut every inch
to feel the pain
a scar that leaves marks
on the arms that are hidden

Cut deep inside
just to feel it fully
to watch the blood pour down
on the arms that are jello....

Tears rolling down
cutting every inch....
just to feel it all
the pain deep inside

The tears burning my face
as i cut deep inside
to see the scars on my arms....
and the blood pouring down.....

BeautifulIf I told you I loved you,
Would you believe it?
If I told you you're beautiful,
Could you see it?

You're letting your insecurities get in the way
Of a compliment that could make your day.
You bring yourself down and you won't believe
The things you deny are the things I see
On rainy days you're a little down from the rain
I wanna be the one who washes away your pain
Here's a reminder when you forget,
Here's a reminder when you're upset:

You're beautiful in every little thing you do,
You beat yourself up, but I know what's true,
You're funny. You're friendly.
You're strong and smart.
Disagree, but I know you're kind at heart.

*You're the p

SufferingTears crashing around me
as all I do is feel this hurt
The pain deep inside of me
I can't bear to go on much longer

The eyes of glass
the heart that aches
I can't control
the urges i feel inside me

My mind takes over control
of this hurt left unknown
I can't help but to cry
and have the tears falling down my face

I can't take this much longer
so please go on without me
The truth behind every story
the deep hurt i feel inside

I feel like a failure at life
no hope for this life to go on
so please leave me here to suffer
Maybe one day it will all change

Dear Diary, All About Her....Dear diary,

She showed me her arm today
Broken down, without a word to say
She lay in my arms and cried
And told me she can't decide
Between death and being alive

I saw all her bloody, raw skin
Rocking back and forth
Her knees pulled to her chin
A wrecked little doll
All dirty and used
Tired of being nothing at all
Enjoy the persisting abuse

I told her it hurts me to see
How she crumbles eventually
How I die right before her eyes
When she slips from my sight

But she just smiled and said
She can't help it
I know she doesn't try to be bad
But she's killing me
Slaughtering me beyond recognition
Like she's completing my fail

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Submitted: November 13, 2012
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Don't I deserve it?

by *Nessie905, Nov 13, 2012, 3:58:52 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Why is the flesh so fragile?
Soft skin turns to jagged red lines
The day before the snow came
Three years ago so similar
Right to this day, before the moon came out
This life I live, it frightens them
One week ago I finally went insane
I cut some more jagged lines
Right down to the bone, my love
I hope this hurts you
As much as it hurts me every day
Don't I deserve it, my love?
After all, I blame you
All of my insecurities, spoon fed
Only by you, my sweet love
So go home, let me rest

Do I not deserve it, my love?

Don't I deserve it?by *Nessie905

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

©2012-2013 *Nessie905

Inspired poetry I wrote before going to sleep last night...

November. 12. 2012

~~joy 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

Mood: Overwhelmed

~SmoshyLove Nov 15, 2012 Hobbyist Artist

Amazing

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*Nessie905 Nov 15, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Thank you

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Mood: Love

~SmoshyLove Nov 16, 2012 Hobbyist Artist

no problume its great so

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~brokenwings07070409 Nov 13, 2012

wow I love this

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*Nessie905 Nov 13, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Thanks

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Mood: Love

~brokenwings07070409 Dec 8, 2012

you're welcome

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~Jazy2kool Nov 13, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

beautiful

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*Nessie905 Nov 13, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Thank you

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